


He Only Loves Me When He’s Intoxicated

by orphan_account



Series: The Paradox of Loving You [1]
Category: Ava's Demon
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Asexuality Spectrum, Chatting & Messaging, Crying, Drunken Confessions, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I never understood why fanfic authors apologized in the tags but, I'm Sorry, It's like an explosion in slow motion, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, fast burn, read the notes you hoes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 01:24:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16672108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Odin had never been in love before. Had never even so much as had a crush.His only two friends were in a committed relationship, and he had never really felt an emotional connection with anyone else but them. Odin was content to just live his life how he wanted with no regard for anyone else.Until someone gave Gil Marverde alcohol at a party.





	1. Cupid's Aro

**Author's Note:**

> Two days ago an idea popped into my head. It continued to spiral as I poured out the story in the gilodin channel of my discord server. Now it's evolved into this huge sprawling universe. I have so much planned for Odin, Gil, Maggie, and Ava. So like, be ready.
> 
> You won't like this if you're any type of exclusionist. Arospec, aspec, trans, and nonbinary people are all welcome.
> 
> Odin is the only white person of the four of them.
> 
> The mental illness stuff is mild but I will post warnings in the notes.
> 
> If you think any of the characters are problematic congratulations that's because you have eyes and can read. They're like that because no one is perfect and story needs conflict for growth. Nothing too awful though, absolutely no slurs because I'm not about that fam.
> 
> Last thing, not everything is as it seems. Stay on your toes. Anything could have a double meaning. Keep it crunchy and zesty y'all.

Odin was dying.

  
  


He wasn’t much for romance, wasn’t much for sex, and hadn’t ever experienced either in his lifetime. He had better things to do with his life, like write poetry or take pictures or smoke weed. That, and the responsibilities of his family name.

 

He was at a party with his friends Ava and Maggie, high as hell, having a good time zoning out on the couch. Ava and Maggie were somewhere else in the house probably losing at beer pong because they both sucked at it, despite always insisting on playing. He was expecting this night to go the same as most others: arrive, eat and smoke, stop Maggie from doing something stupid, and leave. But this time it was different. This time Maggie had invited her friend Gil Marverde.

 

Gil was a prim and proper kind of person. He was an Indian guy with bleached white hair and an inclination towards form fitting shirts. Personally, it wasn’t something Odin would wear, but who was he to judge Gil’s sense of style? Gil walked around like he had a stick up his ass and he and Odin fought constantly. Gil hated poetry and art with a passion, a pre-med guy who thought humanities were useless to society. Of course, Odin knew Gil’s major was probably more important, but that didn’t mean he didn’t rise to the bait of an argument.

 

Why was it important that Gil Marverde was at this party? Because Gil had never, ever,  _ ever _ touched alcohol before in his sad, repressed life. Which meant that he couldn’t handle it. At all.

 

A flushed Gil Marverde was sitting on the couch next to Odin, touching his arm and slurring into his ear.

 

“Ooooodin, can we kiss? I wanna know what it’s like to kiss a man. I bet your stupid beard would feel nice against my face.”

  
  


Odin had died. And Gil Marverde was the Angel welcoming him to heaven.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Odin woke up on Maggie and Ava’s couch.

 

Okay, he wasn’t  _ on _ the couch per se, more like halfway on the couch. One quarter. One eighth. His foot was touching it. Okay, fine, he was on the floor.

 

An upside down Maggie entered his field of vision.

 

“Hey Prince, you need to go the fuck home because Ava’s book club starts in an hour and we can’t have you here while we discuss sapphic prose.”

 

Slowly and kinda clumsily, Odin tried to right himself. It took him awhile and he fell two times, but he eventually got his back to the couch. 

 

“Two things. First, what kind of college lesbian book club takes place in the, in the morning? Second, that actually sounds delightful, can I stay?”

 

Maggie crossed her arms and cocked her hip. 

 

“It’s three o’clock in the afternoon, asshat, and I know that the idea of discussing books with lesbians gives you, like, a brain boner but this is a safe space for wlw. Go home and take a shower, you smell really bad.”

 

She offered Odin a hand and he took it, both working to pull Odin off of the floor. Maggie started shoving him towards the front door as Odin continued to plead his case.

 

“To be fair, it  _ is _ important that I, as a, as a, uhhm cis white man, listen to the thoughts and opinions of women of color like you and Ava, and, and, and if there are also other lesbians around and we all get to eat those really good cookies that you bake and, and... and have tea then it would be, uhhh probably ten times better. I can probably even bring something of my own! I’m rich, I can buy books and shit. Please, Maggie, you gotta let me stay!”

  
Maggie shoved Odin out the door.

 

“Lesbians are the future!” Odin exclaimed.

  
  
“I love you but bye,” Maggie slammed the door in his face.

 

After staring at the door for a bit, Odin turned and headed to his car. Fuck, wait, where were his keys and wallet?

 

The mail slot opened and his missing items tumbled onto the ground.

 

Odin picked them up, yelling a quick “Thanks!” to Maggie, to which she responded with a muffled, “Go home!”

 

Odin had good friends.

 

* * *

**Grass + Fire + Smoke = Ganja Gang**

 

Lesbians, what is your wisdom?

 

odin im not a lesbian weve talked about this!

 

Ava has nice titties and I worship them like I would a god

 

MAGGIE

 

He asked for my wisdom and I told him the truth

 

…

I need actual advice.

 

Oho?

 

ohoho?

 

Oh my god guys please. I need you to be my friends and not monsters out to kill me for like five minutes.

 

sorry odin

whats wrong?

 

:3  c

:3 c

:3c

 

Maggie I swear to god. I should just DM Ava if you’re going to be a bitch.

 

Oh damn Mr. Feminist used the B word!!!

As the only lesbian you are friends with I am revoking your feminism membership

 

…

 

I’m just messing with you bruh!

Geez you must be real fucked up if you won’t rise to that jab

Okay FINE what’s wrong?

 

So uh

You know how I’m Aroace?

 

yeah

 

I still don’t get that but yeah

 

Do you remember how I explained that I might be demi but I wouldn’t know because I hadn’t been close to anyone but you guys?

 

yeah

 

Yah

Wait

Oh my GOD

CAN I GUESS WHO IT IS?

FDHSDKHHFKJLSDLFDH

YOU LITERALLY DONT KNOW ANYONE BUT US

YOU DONT TALK TO ANYONE BUT YOUR WEED DEALER AND I KNOW HER SHE THINKS YOURE BOURGEOIS TRASH

WAI

 

thats great odin!

i took maggies phone so you can tell us about gil

oh oops

 

Ava how did you know that?

 

Ava?

 

Ava got scared that you would be mad at her for knowing already so she had a little freak out

She’s okay now we’re cuddling but she’s not going to text

So

Gil huh?

I’m not all that surprised he does have a nice ass

 

Oh shit, tell Ava I’m not mad and that I love and cherish our friendship.

 

Will do Prince

 

She says she’s sorry but that she saw you guys at last night’s party

I kind of lost track of Gil but I do know he got wasted

What happened? I promise I’ll listen and not be a ho for the whole story

 

Thank you.

So, last night I was very very high. I was sitting on the couch and I was just basking in the feeling of being high. Then Gil comes up to me and he looks very disheveled. His hair is a mess and I think his skin was flushed but it was dark and he’s dark and his hair was like a glowing halo around his head.

Maggie he kept touching my arm. He was whispering in my ear and he kept asking me to kiss him. But he was also telling me how stupid I am but like it was an endearment? It was like how you call Ava shortie and she hates it but secretly likes it.

I can’t remember exactly what he said but something about my beard and his face and I don’t know what he wanted but I would give him anything.

Is this love? Is this infatuation? I feel like I’ve been struck by Cupid’s arrow.

Isn’t that ironic? Odin Arrow, the self professed aro, pierced by an arrow of love.

Maggie I want to hold his hands. His life saving hands. Can he save even me? I would let him if he wanted to.

I am. Enchanted.

 

Alright chief I’m going to stop you there

SO

Is this like a sex thing or like a romance thing?

I’m guessing its a romance thing because so far all you’ve said is sappy shit

Oh sorry not shit

Not trying to invalidate you

 

Yeah I get it Maggie. I appreciate you trying.

 

:))))

 

I think it’s a romance thing but I can’t tell if I actually like him or if I’m just excited to get attention.

 

Oh babe that is a phat mood

Gil is a nice guy

I remember when I thought I was straight for him

But I thought you guys fought all the time?

If you still wanna fight with him it might be UST

 

I’ve never really wanted to fight with him, he just pushes all of my buttons. Plus I guess I like how he talks to me. Fuck have I liked him this whole time?

 

Yeah, you’re usually so chill unless he’s around.

Wow this must be fate can I be the first lady at your wedding?

 

Mags

It’s Best Man or Maid of Honor.

 

ODIN YOU HO NOW MY GIRLFRIEND IS LAUGHING AT ME

 

Haha Is Ava okay now?

 

Yeah but we’re going to text together so she doesn’t need to move

Odin you were right lesbians are the future

Nothing is better than having a girl lay on your titties

 

You’re lucky I have sisters and that I am pretty desensitized to your bullshit.

 

Speaking of them they are going to LOVE Gil 

Olai will like him too but fuck that guy amirite ladies?

 

Ew. Please don’t put Olai and the love of my life in the same sentence.   
  


Woahhhh there buddy

Slow down

You literally thought you were incapable of these feelings like yesterday

Ava says maybe be his friend first

 

But Maggie I have never felt this way before! Also you were the one who brought up my family. I think he might be the one.

 

You said that about a calligraphy pen once

And Plato

 

Ugh his mind. Need me a freak like that.

 

I don’t know what would be worse

If you’re talking about Plato or Gil

 

Shh it’s late at night and I’m writing poems about a boy. Let me be gay.

 

Gay?

 

I’m not sure if it’s accurate but it feels good to be able to say a word that most people will just get instead of demi or gray romantic for a boy. So yes, gay.

 

Oh sweet can I call you my gay friend or naw

Always wanted one of those

 

No you can’t and aren’t you friends with Gil?

 

Oh

Oh no

Babe I’m so sorry

 

Maggie

Maggie?

 

Maggie why’d you stop responding?

 

hi odin

 

Ava what happened?

 

maggie thought if she had to tell you she would do it too mean so she gave me back my phone to tell you instead

 

Please be gentle, I am several poems deep and in love with Gil Marverde so my heart is fragile.

 

i dont know how else to tell you this but

odin hes straight

 

No, he can’t be. You saw us last night, did that look like a straight man?

 

well maybe he isnt and you have a chance! but if so hes very very closeted right now. i think hes what you would call highsexual? like only gay when hes drunk.

 

...

So what you’re saying is that I have to help him out of the closet?

 

odin. no. stop right now.

remember what you always say about coming out? that its a deeply personal experience and that people should do it on their own terms?

 

I know. Fuck I just. I want him.

THIS SUCKS.

 

dont do anything dangerous okay?

 

I won’t. Can you give me his instagram though? I’m going to draw him.

 

thats a really bad idea

 

Its jealou_sea

 

maggie!!! :O

 

YEET

 

God is a Woman.

Okay I’ll see you guys tomorrow but right now I have to commit this boy’s smile to my long term memory.

 

Alright Ava and I are going to sleep now but you can text us and we’ll respond in the morning

 

goodnight odin dont stay up too late and dont do anything dangerous!!!

 

Okay goodnight.


	2. Doctor's Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another party. Another encounter with Gil. If Odin wasn't dying before, he sure as hell was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Google, how do I tell my audience that this is fast burn and slow burn at the same time?  
> Googs: You don't, they just perish with you.  
> Me: Thanks Google, you're the best.
> 
> Okay so this chapter is... a little sexual? Or should I say sensual? I'm going to turn the rating up to M because hoo boy. Gil is... a guy. Who does stuff. He's a guy. Yeah. Or maybe I'm just inexperienced? Dunno.
> 
> Also the nature of the story has evolved past what I originally intended it to be. So like, it's not just going to be a fluffy getting together fic anymore.
> 
> Not everything is as it seems. Even for me, I keep learning new things about the world I built and the characters in it. So like I only know more than you, not everything. It really do be like that sometimes.

It had been a couple weeks since The Incident and Odin was in deep.

 

He was at another party, high as hell, zoning out on the couch again. This time around Odin had gotten to the party separate from Maggie and Ava, so he didn’t know where they were. Apparently, they were bringing Gil again and Odin was over the moon about it.

 

Vaguely in the back of his mind he knew that by doing the same thing as he was last time he was trying to bait Gil into giving him attention again. God, just the thought of Gil near him made him wanna explode and die and run around and maybe even burst into tears. This was too much for his heart.

 

He had seen Gil around campus since The Incident, but hadn’t spoken to him. They never talked when Maggie wasn’t there, so it would be weird if they started now. Even after The Incident.

 

He checked his phone and he had a shit ton of texts from Maggie.

* * *

 

**Queen of Lesbos**   
  


Hey dingus

Ava got the flu so we’re staying home

Gil is going tho

;)

I dressed him myself so like

Get that bread king

More like cake but

;)))))))))))

Have funnnnn

Also I may have mentioned that you were going to be there

He doesn’t seem to remember what happened last time sooooo

Anyways I’m pretty sure he’s gay based on the fact that he didn’t protest when I dressed him

He’s looking like a whole snack

K bye! Have fun! Use a condom!

 

* * *

 

Odin looked up from his phone and was frozen in his seat. Standing by the counter in a white crop top and black skinny jeans was Gil. He was engaged in conversation with a couple other people. Maggie was so, so wrong. Gil didn’t look like a snack. He looked like a whole ass meal. 

 

He watched with his mouth slightly open as Gil noticed him, excused himself from his conversation, and walked over. God, he was so handsome. Odin wanted to kiss his exposed midriff. Was that a choker? Maggie was deliberately trying to kill him. 

 

Gil stood in front of Odin. He was so tall and the couch was so sunken that Odin had to stretch just to look up at him. He looked even more like an angel, looking down and passing judgments on lesser men. This shit was not fair. 

 

Odin didn’t even register it when Gil started speaking to him, too entranced by the way his lips moved. They were so soft looking, was this even legal?

 

“...Hello? Odin? Are you listening?”

  
  
Odin snapped out of his daze. 

 

“Huh?”

 

God, he was so intelligent.

 

“Go fucking figure, you’re high, aren’t you? You’re such a piece of shit stoner, I don’t know why I expected anything else.”

 

Oh. Oh no. This was wrong.

 

“I figured you were staring at me because you wanted something, but it turns out your brain is just scrambled. Your eyes are so red.”   
  


Fuck he needed to say something.

 

“Gil, I uh, how are you? You look, you look good. Today. Night! I meant night.”

 

Nailed it.

 

“Yeah, I’m not drunk enough to deal with you right now. I’ll see you in like an hour or so if you’re still even here.”

 

Gil walked away, back over to his conversation. Fuck, Maggie was right about one thing. His ass was nice.

 

* * *

 

Odin was sobering up, leaning on the banister of the front porch, and waiting for his ride home when Gil approached him the second time.

 

“Heyyyy Odin. I was loonking for you. Loonking. Looking. Hahahha.”

 

He stumbled over to Odin and knocked into him. Odin moved to catch him.

 

“Oops, sorry Odin. I didinint try to fall on purpose but everything is really fuzzy.”

 

Gil was gripping Odin’s arms. Gil’s hands were on his bare forearms. Gil was touching him again. Odin had literally smoked weed less than a couple hours ago, but this was a new high that he didn’t know if he could handle.

 

“...Odin? Oooodin? You’re staring again.”

 

Shit, he needed to say something good this time.

 

“How are, h-how are you, uhhh, get-getting home?” So far so good.

 

Gil blinked slowly, studying Odin’s face for a bit. Then he smirked.

 

“Why, are you offering me a ride? Or do you have something else in mind?”

 

Fuck.

 

“No! I mean yes! I mean, I just, I just, I just… I just want… I just wanted- FUCK!”

 

Gil laughed and it sounded like birds at day’s first light. He put a hand on Odin’s chest.

 

“Your heart is beating very fast right now, Mr. Arrow. Take a deep breath for me.”

 

Odin couldn’t if he tried. He was sure his lungs were failing and his face was aflame.

 

“I readed somewhere that people who have stutters get worse when they’re nervous. Do I make you nervous, Mr. Arrow?”

 

Abort. Abort. Abort. Plead the fifth. Odin swore in his head that he would never speak again.

 

“...”

 

“Not talking, huh? That’s fine, I’ve had more stubborn patients than you. If you don’t feel like talking just nod yes and no. Is that okay?”

 

Odin nodded, unable to deny Gil anything.

 

“Do you have a ride home?”

 

Nod.

  
  
“Did you ask if I had one because you were worried?”

 

Nod.

 

“Aw, you’re sweet. Would you buy me a cab if I asked you?”

 

Hesitation, and then a shaky nod.

 

“I figured as much. You’d buy me anything if I asked you to. You’d buy me the whole world, wouldn’t you?” Gil paused, “Don’t answer that.”

 

Odin didn’t move a muscle.

 

“I see the way you’ve been looking at me. You’re like a little puppy. I’d let you buy me anything and everything, if you asked. But you won’t ask me, will you? Because you’re too scared.”

 

Odin cleared his throat.

 

“You’re only say-saying that be-because you’re, you’re, you’re-”

 

“Drunk?”

 

Gil leveled Odin with a stare. Neither said anything for a bit, and Odin looked away unable to sustain eye contact. Eventually, Gil leaned in closer, until his mouth was next to Odin’s ear to whisper something.

 

“Oh honey, you’ve got it so wrong. I’m not saying this because I’m drunk, I’m drunk so I can say it.”

 

It was like a bucket of water was dumped on Odin’s head. He tried to step away from Gil but couldn’t on account of the banister to his back. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he had to get out but he couldn’t, no, wouldn’t push Gil away. Gil’s body was very, very in his space right now. Odin hadn’t been this close to another human being since he was born. He turned his head away from Gil and gripped the banister tightly.

 

“You don’t mean that,” he gritted out. A short sentence with no stutter. This was just great,  _ now _ the speech impediment gods were allowing him to speak? Ugh, what the hell?

 

“Like I said, I’ve had patients more stubborn than you.”

 

Apparently turning away from Gil was a bad idea. The worst idea. A horrible fucking idea.

 

Gil somehow got closer. Placing a gentle hand on the side of Odin’s neck he put his lips under Odin’s opposite ear and bit down. The sound Odin made was  _ wrecked _ .

 

Before Odin could shove Gil away, Gil stepped back to admire his handiwork.

 

“Just something to remember me by until our next appointment. See you around, Odin.”

 

And then he went back into the house.

 

Odin slumped against the railing. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some friends of mine mentioned making fanart so the tag is #tPoLY which is short for the Paradox of Loving You. Keep it zesty and crunchy like celery.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm avaswired on tumblr, I'll probably answer more questions there but I would appreciate comments and kudos.


End file.
